Welcome to the Campers Corners. This is the home of the lurkers in the corner, sitting and waiting for the precise moment to strike. We are hated. We are dreaded. We are Campers.
Yes, campers could quite possibly be one of the most hated players in modern day first person shooters. We are considered as “bad players”, “Newbs”, or just down right lazy. Let me offer you a different perspective. In the world of gaming there is diversity within each genre and gaming group. The young gamer (8-15), one who is recognized by foul language (even by an adults standards). The experienced gamer (16-30), this is the player capable of decimating all enemies, clearing an entire room with a knife and a prayer. The Nostalgic gamer (31-40), these champions (baby in lap) have lost a step due to having to clean a diaper or wipe a nose, but they still got it. These groups have their own unique skills and perspectives to make each match interesting. But only one type of gamer truly has the dedication required to remain relevant in the gaming scene for generations. Yes, I am talking about the old timer (41-60), we dominated Tetris, cut our teeth on Pac Man, and played basketball on Atari with square balls and stick figures. We want to be involved with our kids, even if our reflexes are not as quick as they used to be. So how do we cope with these disadvantages? We master the one thing that is almost as impressive as our long grey beards and bald heads. Camping.Most people think campers stop in any corner and wait for you to pass by, hoping to land a spray of poorly aimed bullets. This may be true for the inexperienced camper (that foul mouthed 8-15 year old), or the gamer getting their feet wet in first-person shooters. But I am talking about the professional camper. The gamer that hand selects the perfect position, waiting patiently as you pass by to get the perfect back shot, just to stand up and move to an adjacent corner to kill you as you come for retribution. The gamer that has mastered the best camping positions for each map, the gamer that lurks in your dreams as the nightmare that ends your kill streak (just before the chopper gunner). We pride ourselves on going 7-7 in any match, so long as we become the perfect buzz kill.
We have an unmatched dedication and attention to detail, studying the game (dreading those 6 votes for Nuke town), looking for the optimal location to set up shop. Placing a strategic claymore to blast our enemies before they can get a spot on our location. We thrive on the banter, tears rolling down the faces of our foes as they curse our names into oblivion. The experts tell you that we are “chicken shit” for playing this way, but this will only fuel the fires of our never-ending volition. Most would say that this is because we never had time to become efficient at the game. Truthfully, we just like to get under your skin. We know we are not good at First-Person shooters, but we still enjoy taking the title of “Pest”. We hope to glance at that leaderboard with a 12-2 score, knowing that we only died because we ran out of ammunition. The sounds of the airways filling with curses from young ones, the expert players rage quitting, and the baby butt wipers wasting their only time in the day away from the family to deal with a camper. We live for these moments.
So, next time you are killed by a camper, before you start to spout out incoherent curse words and screaming about how awful we are at the game, remember this. We will always be there, waiting in the shadows (or behind a conveniently placed dumpster), hoping for our next unsuspecting victim to pass by the barrel of our gun. There is no amount of flame and hate that will stop us from achieving our goal, to become a camping God.
Thanks for reading the Camper’s Corner! Come back for our next segment where we will break down the greatest hiding spots and best loadouts for a camper.